A smashed glass, a pile of wet academic readings, and a mutilated hand later, I type you yet another excuse for my lateness.
Come to think of it, my recent posts seem to have a lot of blood and/or violence in them. I wonder if I see a trend.
Ah well. So I’m posting late again. Because I am such a useless waste of space orz LOL, I kid. Self-pity only gets people so far, usually not farther than what they can throw.
Aaaaand I’m going to stop with the uncalled for, snarky, woe-is-me comments.
Life has been…how shall I put it? Well, let’s just say that instead of being one week of fast food, the past week for me has become one week (and counting) of brine stained cheeks and red, puffy eyes. And I don’t even have a current romantic relationship!
Even then, I have a feeling I won’t be the one doing the crying. I’m a shameless, heartless bastard after all.
Just a few hours ago, I came to a realization. I now understand why the people in asylums, or the ones that are emotionally and/or psychologically unstable, or the ones that have finally broken, are portrayed as laughing nearly, if not fully, hysterically while crying uncontrollably.
It’s because laughter is their only remaining reassurance that somehow, some way, they are still part of the waking world, and that other people know this. That they haven’t disappeared into the void of nothingness as they’ve feared. That they’re still alive and not just some phantom living in someone else’s version of life. That they still retain a part of themselves. That they’re still there.
I’ve also unfortunately had to experience an emotional breakdown in front of my maternal parent. After avoiding showing her such weakness for nearly nineteen years. And she brought it on in the first place.
I knew my skills had to have come from somewhere. I think my pride just jumped the window.
So, well, I guess life’s been pretty busy lately.
You don’t say? Pretty damn hard too. It’d put a rock to shame. It’s not something I want to let show in my writing but obviously does so I might hold off posting the next parts for a bit. After all, the first few parts of SASBRC is supposed to be light and happy, if a bit fluffy. I’m trying to write the middle parts though, the part after Hogwarts (yes, I’m ambitious enough to let it get that far xD). And, well, I figured since they would be in the middle of a war, I’d use these types of typically destructive emotions to make something, well…would fanfiction be considered productive? *sweatdrop*
I’m really sorry I keep making you wait. I’m a bad author D:
My best friend is ranting at me to sleep now. “Calm down and sleep,” he said. And I think I should. I still have to try typing up some stuff both for school and for fun tomorrow. And I totally forgot to study for my upcoming exam this week. I am so going to die @_@
I would just like to take this opportunity to thank the people who helped me through tonight.
Thank you, Lee, for the virtual slap and taking me back to reality.
Thank you Victor, for trying to help me and ultimately making me laugh. You always, without fail, manage to do that when you catch me crying. I can’t quite believe you’re still the person who only comes to me when he needs me as his emotional crutch. I’m sorry for springing you with all that happened tonight. And for burdening you with some of the deeper causes of this.
And thank you Bryan, for sticking around even though I know that studying for your exams in engineering without taking anime breaks exhausted you. For locking yourself in your room with the tablet to talk to me despite it not being fully yours. And for shortening what was already a short sleeping schedule just to talk to me and tell me to sleep.